Dear Sebastian - Week 1

Dear Sebastian,

Welcome to the world my sweet boy.

You're one, whole, giant, big week old.

It's been a whirlwind since you came along last Friday morning at 9:19 a.m. and there's so many things I want to tell you about these last seven days, but mostly, I wanted to tell you how blissfully different this has been for us all.

Unfortunately first-time motherhood was hard for me and was compounded by PPD, but after receiving therapy, it was smooth sailing for your brother and I, but I always felt as if I had missed out on and wasn't present for the first weeks of his life.

This time around, there was...nothing. Nothing but LOVE. An INSTANT, intense, warm, all-consuming LOVE for you that I didn't have right away the first time.

It was, it IS still strange. It's strange to love you as completely and simply as I do.

And the funny thing is, that love for you has expanded and flowed over onto your brother and your Daddy.

Although I knew that things were better, I knew that the therapy kicked PPD's derrière, I got to feel, see, hear just how awesome motherhood is "supposed to be" (for me).

It's as if I'm really, SEEING what I didn't and couldn't before and what a sight it is.

I have taken every opportunity I can to HOLD you and kiss your sweet face, hands, feet, neck. I RELISH in sleeping with you on my chest and you squeaks, squawks and kitten-like cries. I've made up a song for you - a silly ditty - that I sing often about how I love your "big blue eyes, and your pretty mouth..." and your early nicknames are Marvin (as in Starvin' Marvin) and Mr. Wiggles.

I'm enjoying every part of this journey, that hasn't been bogged down with fear, doubt or depression and I've actually cried on more than one occasion because I'm just so happy.

That's not to say it's been perfect, we are, after all we are integrating a new little person into our family and it's a lot of work!

I've worried how your brother, who's had 100% of Mommy and Daddy's attention would deal with someone else who needs attention too, but thus far he's done so well and loves you in his own two-and-a-half year old way.

So welcome to our noisy, laughter-filled, crazy home. You've made our family complete and given me the opportunity to really FEEL what motherhood can and should be, thank you.

Love,

Mama

xoxox