Dear Baby #2 - 37 Weeks

Dear Baby Mac,

I have so many things I want to say to you, but forgive me baby, it's like writing to an anonymous pen pal who's been living in my house, but our only form of communication over the last 37 weeks has been pokes, nudges and kicks.

I feel like I KNOW you, yet I don't. I've seen you, but haven't really SEEN you - other than those grainy, black and white images of your various body parts where I'm forced to use my imagination. I've heard you, you're tiny, strong heart, but, of course, I haven't really HEARD you. It's a lot of mind games and trickery, but for you - you probably know me better than I know you.

You know my voice, your Daddy's and brother's voice, my heartbeat - you probably sense how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking...strange really, if I think about it...

You're nearly cooked, nearly ready to make your grand entrance on February 28 (maybe?!) - but it could be any day, really. Up until then, it's your decision when you'd like to come out into the world - I've told you that more than once. My bags are packed baby, so you just say the word and you can blow my uterus and we'll welcome you with open (cuddly) arms.

And cuddle you I will - and thank GOODNESS I'm your Mommy, because that means I get dibs on you.

When people used to hold your brother for too long (in my opinion) I used to say, "Um, can I have my baby back?" Sharing you is something I don’t necessarily have to do...all the time anyway.

As I've said before, I suspect (unless someone else has other plans) that you'll be my last baby so I've done my best to enjoy this experience; and believe me, it hasn't been without its pains - literally and figuratively, but obviously, worth every second.

I know being the little brother will, at times, be challenging for you – as it is for any younger sibling. You’ll want to probably grow up faster, just so you can do things like your big brother. You’ll want to emulate him, copy everything he does, have what he has and he may, at times, not be too keen on that I’m afraid. But you too are your own little person and I hope that you can always love who you are.

And although this time around I'm prepared - there's less terror and more excitement - I know what to expect for the most part, I still am a little scared. I’m scared that I will treat the two of you differently in a negative way…that you or your brother will grow up saying, “You loved him MORE than ME! He was your FAVOURITE!”

Don't get me wrong, I WANT to treat you differently – because you are different people – but in ways that help you both grow at your own speed and on your own paths.

Using my womanly influences, I hope to raise you both to be strong, confident, level-headed men; who have a sensitive side (chicks dig that), can cook a GOOD meal (Kraft Dinner doesn’t count), do laundry and remember to be chivalrous.

And above all, I hope your Daddy and I raise two healthy, happy, happy, happy boys that know no matter what, our arms are the safest place on earth. Just like your GG used to say to me all the time, “There is NOTHING on earth that you could EVER do that could make me stop loving you.”

Yes, at times I may be disappointed, embarrassed or even angry, but our love is always, ALWAYS there for both of you – we will love you no matter what.

We’ll see you in a few weeks Sweetpea.

Love,

Mama

xoxoxo