Dear Noah - Independent You

Dear Noah,

You don't need me anymore.

You are a little more than two-and-a-half-years-old and you have already broken my heart. I wasn't expecting to be so disposable, so soon.

You are supremely independent; the phrase of the last few months is: "No Mommy, no, I do all. my. self."

Yes sweetheart, you do do most everything all yourself. You feed yourself, get yourself dressed, get up into your chair, go to the potty, clean your hands, face...the list is endless.

Not only do you not need me anymore, but there are times as if I feel as if you'd live a contented life if I wasn't around.

One night I asked your Daddy if boys REALLY do need their Moms. If Moms are REALLY that important since Daddies really seem to rule their world and Moms are just, well, the ones that demand hand-washing, manners, picking up after yourself, rules, rules, rules.

Your Daddy laughed at me, of course, and assured me that boys DO need their Moms - for what, I'm not exactly sure - other than to nurture (which you rarely want or need unless you're hurt), to be your soft place (you ALLOW me the privilege to hug you when you feel like it), and to be your womanly influence ("Mommy has gina.").

This Mommy is looking for where she fits in your world since playing cars (gag) and playing cars (OMG) and playing more cars (puh-lease!) is all you want to do these days - even though I encourage other activities like colouring (YES), Playdough (woot!) and arts and crafts (awesome!).

Although I marvel at your brilliance - you know your ABCs, can count to 15, have almost mastered the elusive potty and a HOST of other talents - I miss that toddler who called me his favourite, who wanted more from me than a cup of juice or to play (DREADED) cars.

And I want to say that all of this was to be expected, I fully expected and knew the day would come when you wouldn't want or need me very much anymore, but I didn't know it would make me so sad. I didn't know watching you grow from a newborn, to an infant, to a toddler, to now a boy would crush me so.

You are a wondrous little man, Noah. I am proud of the boy you're turning into - the kind boy who has a shy streak, but is also heart-warmingly outgoing and friendly to strangers saying, "Hello!"

Just do Mommy a favour, when you read this, when you're all big and grown, that you'll gimmie a few more hugs and kisses now and then...I'll probably miss them as much then as I do now.

Love,

Mama

xox