Dear Noah - 21 Months

Woah! This was the month of the sickies! Yikes! It was like it was December - height of the cold, flu and stomach bug season in our house!

You were sick three times this past month - the first of which, we think you caught it from Daddy and I (sorry) - and you were sent home from Linda's because you threw up all over yourself. I was away on a course in Barrie and was frantic to get home to you. When I did finally get home, you seemed like your old, happy, cheery self and then you got coughing on a glass of water and you promptly threw up all over yourself again. You cried and then pointed to the remnants of a handful of crackers that had just been in your tummy and said, "Mess? Mess?" It broke my heart.

You do that often in a day. You, just being you, are a heartbreaker...I don't know if you'll ever truly know how much we love you - me especially, I love you more than Daddy - just kidding.

The next time you were sick was just a few days later. Your dad and I were woken just before 1 a.m. to you screaming your head off. As soon as I opened your bedroom door I could smell it - the vomit. I picked you up and cleaned you off, while Daddy cleaned the floor and your bed.

You were so very, very sad.

The third time you were sick you woke up and were, just off. You felt warm to the touch and were clingy. We dropped you off at Linda's anyway and she called me about two hours later saying you were sick

And boy oh boy oh boy were you EVER.

I have never seen you this sick and you truly, scared me something fierce.

You had a fever of 102 and spiked at the doctor's office somewhere around 103.2...

You were listless, immobile and although I loved the snuggles, they weren't worth seeing you so very sick.

Dr. Ibey said you had a mild ear infection and if you weren't better by the next day, to give you a prescription.

I brought you home and you and I laid on the couch. You laid on me like a newborn and barely showed interest in the vanilla shake or the cartoons on the TV. You and I fell asleep a short time later and I put you to bed early where you slept for FIFTEEN HOURS!

And, in true Noah fashion, you woke up right as rain. And all was well in our worlds again.

On to the happy stuff...

Words abound out of your mouth. Your Dad and I sat down one night and started compiling a list of your words and were surprised to discover there are more than 25 words in your vocabulary. Among those words is, of course, mess, sha-sha (for Truck), noooo (you elongate the word and say it so softly), yesss (another elongated word), hi, bye, bus, book, push, poke, etc...even Dr. Ibey was impressed.

It's as if you've turned over this new leaf into boyhood and words and abilities are just non-stop.

You make us so proud!

But let's get to the nitty-gritty...sometimes...daily...in MY opinion, you're behaviour is very um, undesirable - to say the least. Now let me just say, that apparently all this thrashing, slapping (of yourself and others), and all out fit-throwing is normal and natural. That contorting your body in such a way so that I cannot remove your pee and poop filled diaper is all apart of growing up.

And Mommy doesn't like it. Not one. Little. Bit.

Time Outs are daily - pretty much. There even twice and three times daily - depending on your mood.

I know that this is only the tip of the preverbal iceberg. That. Oh. My. GOD it gets so much worse, but child you test my patience.

And it's laughable. That I scold you over and over and over and bloody over until I'm blue in the face - "Noah, DO NOT HIT." And what did I do this morning, when you were kicking me with your sandaled feet, kicking the wall to make the animal hooks fall on your head - I whacked you on the upper thigh.

There goes leading by example, folks.

Screwed that one up royally.

However, it DID get your attention. What I was NOT getting by raising my voice, speaking to you calmly, holding your face in my hand and demanding you look at me - no, that slap on the thigh got it - immediately.

Sigh.

I'm new at this - obviously - and sorry to say it, but I'm working the kinks out on this parenting thing with you, Noah.

And, can I say, so far, I think me and your dad have done a decent job, because after all the fit-throwing is said and done, you do what you're told. You do brush your teeth, you pick up those books, you put those clothes back on the chair...you eventually, do listen...so by GOD we must be doing something right!

And really, all joking aside...your personality is so honest to goodness pure and sweet.

Your kindness melts me inside - when you kissed Elea after you accidentally pulled some toys down on her; when you gave Danielle a toy after you took it away; when you grab my face in your little hands and run them down my cheeks (just like I do to you) - I know that you're a beautiful soul.

Happy 21 months, Boo (a new nickname) - stop growing immediately!

Love,

Mommy

xoxo

Dear Noah - 20 months

Dear Noah,

So here's the story - and you'll probably read it and go, "Ew, Mom, really? I didn't need to know that!" But hear your mother out.

Your Dad and I have been trying - just for the last month - to give you a baby brother or sister (and you're welcome, for me only going into that much detail with that particular topic - at least for now, anyway).

I'm not pregnant yet, but all the leading up to the getting pregnant has lead to a multitude of muddled and murky thoughts and feelings.

I've had mixed emotions about another baby. It's not to say that I haven't wanted to give you this and give another little person to your dad and I; to our family. On the contrary, since you slept through the night and I stopped being cra-zy, I've wanted this for all of us.

But the mixed emotions are from my own self doubt about my abilities as a mom, and maybe your feelings about being a big brother.

I worry that you will not want a little brother or sister, that you will resent the fact that Daddy and I can't be at your beck and call as we have been for your whole existence. I worry that you lash out, you will become a little devil in order to get our attention.

Since I don't know what it's like to have a sibling, I worry that bringing another person into your life will change you negatively.

Yet, deep down I know in my heart that you will love your little sibling. Just as you loved your cousin Audrey when she visited. You could. not. get. enough of her. You watched her and touched her and kissed her and were just fascinated with this little person - who, oddly enough to you, was smaller than you. I'm sure there will be a learning curve for us all, but I know in the end, you will love him or her...because you do it so easily.

I know you will get concerned when the baby cries, you will itch to kiss him or her and help Mommy and Daddy with dirty diapers and feeding. And that you will love to show him or her how to do all the things that his or her big brother already knows how to do.

As for you Mister, big words are flying out of your mouth and if you can't say them you try and try and try to sound them out.

Watch is a new word, that sounds a lot like "Wassss" and it's just adorable. You also say, "hi", "GG", and "Nana," "Why (as in Super Why!)", "Mess," and "Busssssssss."1

Your favourite show, Super Why! has come in handy in teaching you to sound out words, "What letter makes the sound buhhhhhh?" and you inevitably repeat, "buhhhhh."

You're also fascinated with watching videos of yourself when you were littler. I can see the little wheels turning behind your big, brown eyes. Knowing, instinctively that it's you, but not really understanding how that's even possible.

You are still so smart and happy and wide-eyed with an innocence that I hope you hold on to until you're 20 - just kidding...

Happy 20 months, Noah...you are mommy's sunshine.

Love,

Mama

Dear Noah - 19 months

Dear Noah,

Oh my sweet little monkey boy.

You are so painfully smart - it KILLS me. You love to talk - some "real" words, some made up ones, but you are such a chatterbox. You make the effort to repeat words back to Daddy and I a lot. You say the word "bus" a lot, which comes out sounding like "bess", which, is seriously the cutest - ever.

You try to say everything we do, like "down" which sounds like "dahhhhhh" - and "watch" which sounds like "waahh-ssss" - you're just awesome.

Your favourite things to do almost every single morning is read. When Daddy or I go in to get you in the mornings you point over to your dresser of books and jabber - we give you a book and you'll happily sit in bed and chatter and "read" your books. It's just darling.

But there's a darker, almost sinister side of you that, honestly, sometimes scares me a bit.

Your dad and I have been putting you in time out now for the last month. Until recently, it had been in your crib - to keep you contained, safe and let you blow off steam if you were having a meltdown - which, MY OH MY you do!

Now, we've decided, since you think time out in bed is jump and play time that its lost the whole meaning, we've got a time out rug for you.

We plop you down on a round carpet from your room we've put in the dining room and order you to stay put for time out.

The first time we did this you whined a bit, then played with and talked to your toes, but didn't move - we were amazed!

Then the "newness" of the time out wore off and you began standing, or trying to get off the rug. I held you there once. Tightly - so tightly I thought I was hurting you - but you fought. me. so. hard...you test my patience boy...

And the creepiest, yet funniest thing you've done while in time out is stare me down with dirty, stink eye and then lightly slap yourself and pull your hair...you are so ANGRY and aren't sure how to release it...I hope you find a proper and acceptable outlet for your anger that's not directed at me or your daddy.

It scares me that you'll forever kick, slap, pinch and pull when you're frustrated, angry or just plain can't get your way...and it's only because I'm new at this parenting thing that I have these (I'm sure crazy sounding) thoughts.

I worry you'll never get in "control" of yourself and will wildly loose your shitz when someone, anyone says no...but I have faith that you'll learn the right and wrong way to let your anger out...

You celebrated your second Easter at Grandma GGs and had a blast with all your cousins who just, utterly ADORE you. They think you are just so amazing. Constantly saying, "Noah look. Noah come here. Noah see this...Noah, Noah, Noah..." I love how much you're loved.

You also fell backwards into GG's little pond. You scared yourself (AND ME) something fierce!

Thank God when you fell backwards, one leg was hanging out of the pond, otherwise you would have gone all the way in for sure.

When you fell I was there in a flash - like Super Mommy - I scooped you up, soaked clothes and all and you cried and clung to me so scared.

I was scared too. Your life flashed before my eyes...

GG was trying to play it off like a fun accident, so you wouldn't be any more scared than you already were...I didn't say much, I just held you SO tight.

Also at Easter it was some noisy - you'll learn fast that Mommy's side of the family are big, loud mouths - lol. You had trouble sleeping with all the laughter and hollering, so I went up (more than once) to comfort you. We had some nice snuggles - I laid you on GG's bed with me and you fell asleep - I loved that so much. You tried so hard to stay awake, but couldn't - your brown eyes rolling in the back of your head...it was just awesome.

Love,

Mommy

xoxoxo

PS. You've gone poo in the potty - TWICE!

Dear Noah - 18 months

Dear Noah,
Saucy! You are a saucy, silly little monkey.
I may regret these words, but child of mine, I think we have reached the "terrible twos" already, which, really aren't that bad (yet?). However, those words don't adequately describe your personality. I would call you saucy and determined and sometimes, dare I say, pig headed.
And my dear Noah, know that those words I use, are all in love and in somewhat exaggerated jest - and, I know that one day, all these traits will come in handy - wait, they have already.
Your stubborn determination, is what allowed you to take your first step at 9 months, to put your coat in the closet (with no prompting) last month and know EXACTLY what your daddy and I are talking about when we say things like, "Noah, pick up your cup and put it on the table, please."
And you know what, most of the time you do it.
This past month you also got so mad at me that you've hit me in the face, pulled my hair and pinched me, which, let me tell you made ME soooooo mad - and hurt. Yes Noah, you hurt my feelings (I know I've hurt yours too, so it's okay). So we're working on teaching you that it's not okay to use physical violence when you're angry - scream and throw a fit if you want, but don't hit.
Which leads me to you biting me as well. Though, you weren't mad, I think you thought you were playing, but ohhhhh I wanted to bite you back...I don't think you understood how it hurt.
And those kisses I talked about last month; those kisses that you doled out to daddy and I nearly constantly have almost stopped. Whenever I ask for a kiss you run away shaking your head. You do offer up kisses if we've done something to make you happy or sometimes as a thank you, but that's about it...the best we can get out of you now for kisses is if you head so we can kiss your forehead - lol.
So this past month you've sprung TONS of new teeth - you had two just around your first birthday, then two on the top popped up together and now, wow! You've got three more on the top, one on the bottom and a bottom molar coming in all at once and I wouldn't have known (you don't whine or cry) unless I'd seen them while you were laughing one day.
And the biggest news of all this month...get ready for it - you pooped - in the potty! I know, I know, you're thinking, ew, really, mom?
But wait, this was an exciting revelation. Your Dad went to change your diaper, realized you were "still going" and decided to just plop you on the potty. And there you finished your business and we all did a happy dance and clapped and cheered. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect that you'll be using the potty permanently anytime soon, but we were so happy that you weren't afraid of the potty or terrified to go - you just let 'er rip!
You're starting to speak in sentences now too. Now I don't mean coherent, English sentences. No, they're gibberish, sounding sort of like English, but not really sentences, but Dude, we KNOW you're saying something important when you're babbling away to your books or toys.
You are trying to say real words more and more you said "up" like "ahh-puh" sticking out your bottom lip and blowing your bangs all over - it's super cute. You also say: "downstairs" like "dun-stes"...I love the way you talk.
Love,
Mommy
xoxox

Dear Noah - 68 Weeks

Dear Noah,

Happy 2010!!

Of course, by the time you're old enough to read this and give a crap, it'll be waaaay past this date and you'll think I'm old and your Dad's ancient and you might be right, but we're still the coolest parents you'll have ever encountered and we're still the boss...okay, enough of that rant...

Welcome to a new decade my sweet boy.

So, about Christmas - it wasn't as exciting as I was hoping - I don't know what your dad thinks of how it went, but it was pretty low-key on the excitement scale.

Santa left you a red toboggan, a (rotary-style) telephone (I had one when I was little) and a Glockenspiel (not to be confused with a xylophone - even though that's pretty much what it is). You got the idea pretty quickly that those were your toys and you immediately pulled the toboggan out from under the tree and sat in it and then pulled it around with your other toys inside.

However, when it came to actually unwrapping presents, that was a new experience. You'd seen those colourful boxes under the tree for the last month and didn't touch them, so you had no idea what kind of goodies were inside. I had to show you how to rip and tear and the paper and you caught on pretty quickly, but lost interest in the whole experience almost immediately.

You were more into in having ME unwrap the toy or clothes - and even then you didn't really care about the things you'd received - you loved your toboggan too much - Mrs. Claus was one COOL cat to think Santa should bring you one of THOSE!

Christmas Day your Dad and I took you out with your toboggan and that too was a bit of a bummer. Albeit a funny bummer, but a bummer nonetheless. As much as you LOVE going outside, you hate the snowsuit you have to wear. And I don't blame you. You can barely walk and you (inevitably) fall on your face you can't get up. And as funny as it is, your Dad and I aren't that sick and twisted. So we spend a majority of our time with you outside picking you up off your face and brushing snow off your hands. You spend the time waddling around, falling and getting pissed off.

So anyway, we took you outside and sat you in your toboggan and pulled and you immediately fell backwards out of the sled. It was funny. You didn't cry. You just laid there looked up at us like: "WTF?"

So we tried again, showing you how to hang on to the handles. Which you didn't; so again you fell out.

Then I think your Dad had the brilliant idea to put you in on your tummy and we'd pull you that way and it worked - we even got a smile out of you - but you still weren't impressed. You wanted to pull the sled, not BE pulled. You're definitely a firstborn. Determined, stubborn and smart.

Your words are still few and far between, but your Great Nana taught you how to say "Santa" and "ta-ta" on Christmas Eve. Both of those words you whisper for some reason and it's SO cute!

You follow more and more direction - cleaning up your toys, putting your hat in the basket by the door, closing doors (still) and now dishwasher and fridge.

You know where all your body parts are and have even taken to a picture we have of your Great Papa and Bobby Orr.

"You kneel on all fours staring and pointing at the picture that sits on a bottom shelf.

Then you point. "Ah-dub, ah-dub, ah-dub."

And we say, "Where's Papa?" And you wave your little hand in front of his face. And then you lean over and give Papa a kiss. It breaks my heart a little to know that you won't REALLY know the man who is your namesake. But know that he was a wonderful soul, just like you. A kind-hearted man who LOVED to laugh and loved his family even more. He gave great hugs and I would love to wake up early at the cottage to listen to him strum a tune on his guitar and sing...I miss him still and I miss him more knowing you two will never know each other."

On a happier note, you're goofy personality is coming out more and more. You have this silly, squinty-eyed-cheesy-grin you give anyone who asks you: "Do you want to go downstairs?", "Do you want some milk/some berries?, "Do you want to go for a car ride?" You are easily pleased and sometimes, even easier to tick off. If you want it, you want it now - you have little patience (you get that from me) and you let us know whenever we've done something to displease his Majesty.

Here's hoping that 2010 brings you joy, joy joy and lessons and lots of learning and fun, fun fun!

You are a wonderment - Daddy and I learn from you - believe it or not. We learn how to teach you, we learn how to be parents (better parents!), and how to be better people, because of you.

Thank you Noah, you are Mommy's greatest teacher.

Love,

Mommy

xoxoxo

PS. I've significantly cut down on my swearing as a New Year's resolution, so you don't pick up any choice four-letter words...from ME at least!

Dear Noah - 64 Weeks

Dear Noah,

We're under two weeks away from your second Christmas! I'm excited for you. This is going to be super fun!

We've already went to visit Santa. One Saturday morning, Dad and I dressed you in my favourite overall outfit - with a red shirt and socks - and took you to Breakfast With Santa. We were told it would be best to visit Santa before we ate breakfast. There was no line-up, so we walked over, and I plopped you on his lap. And you instantly looked terrorized and then started to cry. It was funny, only because it was expected - I've yet to know a child who DOESN'T cry when he encountered Santa at your age. You spent the rest of the breakfast happily running around, pushing empty chairs and "meeting" other little people. When it was time to go, we got back in line and Daddy knelt next to Santa with you. You looked only a little scared but you reached out and touched Santa's furry coat.

We plan on taking you to see the Santa at the mall, to see if we can get a better picture, instead of the one we have where you're bawling your eyes out.

This past month you've learned where more of your body parts are - in addition to your penis - lol. Now you know where your belly button, ears and hair are, and sometimes you nose.

You give kisses - closed and open mouthed when asked and say the words "pea" and "baby".

Since we have a ton of snow you've gone outside a few times and experienced winter in all its glory. You look like a marshmallow man in your snowsuit as you waddle and fall and are unable to get up without help. There's nothing particular that you love about being outside in the snowy, cold weather - you certainly don't like eating snow - but do you love it. You've even brought me your boots and hat as a couple of times as your way of asking if we can go outside.

You're a very good boy - still! Dad and I have taught you to put away your toys and you listen (most) of the time. You have also had your first set of time-outs. You were throwing your food on the floor. No matter how many taps on the hand, "no's", "keep your food on the trays", or "stops" you kept doing it - very defiantly. So I picked you up, wiped your hands and face and put you in bed and closed the door where you instantly burst into tears. I hurt your feelings, you were so broken hearted. But it worked, you only did it once more (and one more time in time-out) and you learned your lesson. You're so smart!

Speaking of smart, your favourite book at the moment is "I am Blessed" and on one of the pages in the book has a puppy, a kitty, butterflies and bees and you can correctly point out all of them when asked. As well, you can point out the bear, boy and an orange kitty throughout the book. You're just BRILLIANT!

Your cousin Trek and his girlfriend Jenny visited with your (second) cousin Audrey this past weekend. You're nine months older than her, she's just six months old and my, my, you love her. You spent this morning kissing her head, patting her hands and just staring at her. Dad and I hope this loving behaviour will continue if you're a big brother some day. You were so sweet to her.

Your motor skills are off and running (like you)! You know eat with a spoon and fork with a little help. Once the food is on the utensil, you pretty well get it into your mouth easily...though there's usually a stray noodle, veggie or grain of rice that ends up in your lap or in your bib.

And even today - the day you turn 15 months old - you pulled yourself on to the (ugly) couch in our dinning room and were pleased as punch with your new accomplishment. So all day long that's what you've been doing, pulling yourself up and (with help and guidance) crawling down. Only a few times have you pitched yourself forward off the couch and on to the floor. All afternoon we've taught you to roll on to your tummy and slide yourself down until your feet touch the floor and we clap and you clap and you grin and grin and grin (your super-cute squinty-eye grin)!

You are a joy - pure and simple.

Love,

Mommy

xoxoxo

Dear Noah - 60 Weeks

Dear Noah,
Hello Sweet Face (I call you that all the time) along with Lovey-Loves, Sweet Pie and still Bubba Lou and Hammy-Hams, but not as much as I used to.
These letters are getting harder and harder to write, with work and you and daddy and the regular (un-fun) interruptions of life getting in the way.
It's also hard to condense one month worth of adventures and milestones when I feel like I've missed much of them by working...boo. Unless Daddy and I win the lottery, I'm afraid it's going to be like this...cést la vie.
So here we are, at 14 months old.
Where to begin. Well, I'll start by telling you that mid-October (last month) Dad and I took you to get the H1N1 vaccine. So much controversy surrounding it, when, it's just like the flu, really. We decided it was best for our family, best for you and could, save your life. You screamed for a grand total of 15 seconds, then were more interested in the wooden spiral toys on the wall in the clinic room - way to go!
I like joking with you when you cry: "Shake it off, Noah." lol
You also celebrated your second Halloween and were, a little confused as to what was exactly going on.
We took you to six houses - which included the Verstraten's and Granny's - and you didn't smile ONCE. Not once. You just furrowed your little brow, stared at everyone who "oohhed and ahhed" and were all like, 'geeze mom, this get up is lame and totally sucks.' You were a skunk, by the way. It was a great costume that I got for like $10.50 at Once Upon a Child - with a hat with a stripe down the top and fuzzy ears. The body part had a big tummy, red bow tie (omg!), and a striped tail! There were matching "feet" too! I painted your nose black and carried you to all six houses - daddy protected the candy.
These days you tear through the house like a whirlwind (I have a feeling I'm going to be saying that more than once in the coming years) and have an opinion and mind-set that comes out on occasion. Especially when the word, "no" is used.
You are a helpful boy. You love to close cupboards, the fridge, the freezer and any other open object. You love to hear "thank you" and "good boy."
You listen remarkably well (most of the time) when we do say no. You have yet to touch the fireplace downstairs, I think so far you understand that it's dangerous. I do expect you'll touch it eventually (much to your Dad's horror) just to see if what we've been saying all along is true.
You are a happy, joyful soul - still. You grin and smile and "chat" to anyone. Smiles comes so easily to you and I love that. Daddy and I live to make you laugh and smile.
Speaking of smiles. You've got two more teeth coming in - the top ones. Unlike the bottom ones that came in at the exact same time, your top right is half way through, while the other top tooth is just, peeking out.
You look so different with more teeth - lol - almost weird. And with that, we've also been brushing those little toofers. You're so good about letting Daddy or I brush first. You giggle and squirm and laugh - I guess it tickles your gums. And then it's your turn and you just chew on the toothbrush and suck all the toothpaste out of it.
Daddy and I have also taught you the art of the Eskimo kiss - you hold your head still (when you want to) and let us rub our nose against yours. It's adorable.
I can't wait for your second Christmas - just around the corner. I don't think you'll "get it", but I'm sure you'll have a TON of fun ripping the wrapping paper.
Love,
Mommy
xxoxoxo