Dear Noah - 19 months

Dear Noah,

Oh my sweet little monkey boy.

You are so painfully smart - it KILLS me. You love to talk - some "real" words, some made up ones, but you are such a chatterbox. You make the effort to repeat words back to Daddy and I a lot. You say the word "bus" a lot, which comes out sounding like "bess", which, is seriously the cutest - ever.

You try to say everything we do, like "down" which sounds like "dahhhhhh" - and "watch" which sounds like "waahh-ssss" - you're just awesome.

Your favourite things to do almost every single morning is read. When Daddy or I go in to get you in the mornings you point over to your dresser of books and jabber - we give you a book and you'll happily sit in bed and chatter and "read" your books. It's just darling.

But there's a darker, almost sinister side of you that, honestly, sometimes scares me a bit.

Your dad and I have been putting you in time out now for the last month. Until recently, it had been in your crib - to keep you contained, safe and let you blow off steam if you were having a meltdown - which, MY OH MY you do!

Now, we've decided, since you think time out in bed is jump and play time that its lost the whole meaning, we've got a time out rug for you.

We plop you down on a round carpet from your room we've put in the dining room and order you to stay put for time out.

The first time we did this you whined a bit, then played with and talked to your toes, but didn't move - we were amazed!

Then the "newness" of the time out wore off and you began standing, or trying to get off the rug. I held you there once. Tightly - so tightly I thought I was hurting you - but you fought. me. so. hard...you test my patience boy...

And the creepiest, yet funniest thing you've done while in time out is stare me down with dirty, stink eye and then lightly slap yourself and pull your hair...you are so ANGRY and aren't sure how to release it...I hope you find a proper and acceptable outlet for your anger that's not directed at me or your daddy.

It scares me that you'll forever kick, slap, pinch and pull when you're frustrated, angry or just plain can't get your way...and it's only because I'm new at this parenting thing that I have these (I'm sure crazy sounding) thoughts.

I worry you'll never get in "control" of yourself and will wildly loose your shitz when someone, anyone says no...but I have faith that you'll learn the right and wrong way to let your anger out...

You celebrated your second Easter at Grandma GGs and had a blast with all your cousins who just, utterly ADORE you. They think you are just so amazing. Constantly saying, "Noah look. Noah come here. Noah see this...Noah, Noah, Noah..." I love how much you're loved.

You also fell backwards into GG's little pond. You scared yourself (AND ME) something fierce!

Thank God when you fell backwards, one leg was hanging out of the pond, otherwise you would have gone all the way in for sure.

When you fell I was there in a flash - like Super Mommy - I scooped you up, soaked clothes and all and you cried and clung to me so scared.

I was scared too. Your life flashed before my eyes...

GG was trying to play it off like a fun accident, so you wouldn't be any more scared than you already were...I didn't say much, I just held you SO tight.

Also at Easter it was some noisy - you'll learn fast that Mommy's side of the family are big, loud mouths - lol. You had trouble sleeping with all the laughter and hollering, so I went up (more than once) to comfort you. We had some nice snuggles - I laid you on GG's bed with me and you fell asleep - I loved that so much. You tried so hard to stay awake, but couldn't - your brown eyes rolling in the back of your head...it was just awesome.

Love,

Mommy

xoxoxo

PS. You've gone poo in the potty - TWICE!